What’s in a Name?

By Sherry Costello

Names are important to me. I admit I’m definitely persnickety. But it’s the process that I love – dreaming, making a list, and then narrowing it down to a few shiny contenders. Making the final decision is the hardest part. How in the world do I do that? Sometimes it’s a toss up, but when I finally decide, it sticks.

Before each of my children were born, I spent months thinking about what I would name them. Let’s just say I spent an impressive (ahem, “excessive”) amount of time considering all the options. Their name would be a significant part of their identity for a lifetime, so I felt I owed it to them to give them a name they could live with. How does it flow with their last name? Does the name or initials bring any embarrassing connotations to mind? Should I choose common, or should I be bold and daring and go with something unique? There were so many things to think about!

In case you’re wondering, my husband absolutely had a say so in the final decision. If he said no, even if I loved it, I opened my heart and let it go. If he liked it, it went on a list for further consideration.

When it came to naming my blog, the process was no different; dream, make a list, narrow it down. As is my habit, I had been collecting a rather long list of possibilities, each having a different connotation and a unique ambiance about it. As usual, time spent dreaming was “impressive” (wink wink).

One day, in a doctor’s office, that proverbial light bulb lit up like a flood light in my mind. I was explaining to the good doctor how it felt like Murphy’s Law was always at work, the epitome of my entire life – if something can go wrong, it will. On this particular day, Murphy’s Law was loud and clear. In reply to my comment, he turned to me and said “Well, since you believe you are the queen of uncommon”… And there it was! I honestly have no idea what the rest of the sentence was. It didn’t matter, I had my name, Queen of Uncommon.

It felt right in my soul, yet it needed definition and some deep vetting. It has a nice sound and and draws curiosity, but what does it really mean? Everyone knows that I’m not a queen in the usual sense. But I had to figure out why Queen of Uncommon resonated so deeply within me.

The obvious and underlining reason was that I considered myself to be different and unusual.

I was young when I had bone cancer. It cost me a leg. My Sweet 16 was anything but sweet. It was life-altering, dream-dashing, hope-withering, confidence-crushing, and image-eroding.

Right then, my world came crashing down. I became uncommon. Right there, unbeknownst to me, the Sovereign plucked me up and set my life in another direction full of rocky roads, steep mountains, deep valleys, and wild waters. I had no idea what lay before me and I’m thankful for it. In this broken world, there’s a reason our futures are kept hidden. He knows our frame, and is mindful of our weaknesses – In His mercy, He spares us from the crushing weight of it. If I had known what lay ahead for me, I would certainly have been crushed…to dust.

Instead, God gave me a beacon of hope. Three years later, against every inward expectation, I met the man who would become my husband. He overlooked my obvious flaw – because he didn’t know it at the time – and instead saw my heart and…my long red hair! I didn’t know it then, but He had a soft spot for red hair. Honestly though, was he blind? All I could see was the one thing that should have made him run the other way and he didn’t. I was stunned. I know now it was God’s mercy. He gave me hope.

Next up, as newly weds, we experienced the heart-wrenching loss of our first baby before our first anniversary. Our little one was only 6 months in the womb. I came very close to loosing my life, I lost my sight due to complications. I was given little hope that I would ever regain it, and mourned the idea that it could be permanent. I left the hospital with no baby, and no sight. I’d call that radically uncommon.

As you may be wondering, my sight gradually returned over the course of several months. And soon after, our hearts were filled with joy when our baby girl was born, beautiful, healthy and safe – another beacon of hope in my darkness that should have overwhelmed us. You see, neither I nor my husband were Believers yet. But I know now, that it was God’s mercy that I should live and that my sight should be restored. I know now that He knew me even before I knew Him (Psalm 139:13-16). And I know now, that the Lord is merciful and gracious (Psalm 103:8). And I know now, that He freely and abundantly gives good gifts (James 1:17, Psalm 127:3), for by His abundant grace and love, we were further blessed with two more sons,

Over a decade later, I developed Lymphoma, stage 4. They called it aggressive. I endured a torturous and rigorous chemo cocktail regiment, including a stem cell transplant with an uncertain outcome. The odds were against me, but God’s grace was for me. One day, I’ll know the “why”. But this day, He receives all the glory for my unlikely recovery.

Just a couple years ago, I learned that I had breast cancer. In my book, three entirely different life-threatening occurrences of cancer in a lifetime is uncommon. Intervention, medical and Divine, has now left me cancer free, but the aftermath has been unkind. This time around, I now suffer from uncommon chronic pain that I will likely bear the rest of my life.

Yes, I am the Queen of Uncommon!

This is my uncommon story, yet many of you have a story too – a unique combination of life experiences that have just been over the top unbelievable, or perhaps unbearable. The road is too rocky, the valley is too deep, the mountain is too high, and the water is too wild. In a sense, we all have an uncommon-ness about us, don’t we?

Do you ever feel that way? If you do, I have important news for you, so listen up. You are the Queen of Uncommon too, and I’m happy to share the title!

Truly, there may not be an earthly answer for anything you’re going through, but know this: no part of what you are facing will ever go to waste. He can redeem the years the enemy has stolen; He can take your mistakes and failures that hold you down and turn them around; and He can take your bad experiences and give them meaning and purpose.

And whether or not you understand it, He’s working all of it to your good (Romans 8:28). In God’s Kingdom, He has a purpose for everyone, not only in His future Kingdom, but also during your life on earth. At the very moment you confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and believe in your heart that He was risen from the dead, at that very moment, you are a part of God’s Kingdom. Your life has meaning, and a purpose!

So straighten your crown Sisters! Look to Him who holds you up in the palm of His hand. Through your struggle, your battle, your hardship, God is making you stronger, and more resilient. He’s changing your heart, and transforming your mind. You are not alone!

Side note: I thought I was done here, but there is a greater significance to the name Queen of Uncommon, beyond the example of my personal life.

Simply, as believers in Jesus Christ, we are already living a life that is different from those who trust only in themselves. In other words, we live an uncommon life as we live a life for Christ. I’ll break it down in future posts, but for now, know that it’s coming…